Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn’t know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn’t want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn’t. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn’t want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you’ll continue to miss everything. You won’t see me graduate, you won’t walk me down the aisle, and you won’t get to see me follow my dreams. You’ll never get that back, but I don’t care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can’t complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that’s all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could’ve been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don’t define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

40 COMMENTS

  1. What an amazing letter. My daughters father has never been in her life. She is only two but that’s two years he will never get. This speaks powerful. God bless

  2. This letter speaks volumes. My daughter is 11 & she’s never seen or met her father . That’s 11 years that he’s missed out on . But I take pride in being her only parent !

  3. My daughter’s bio father is trying to buy his way into her life and me her step-dad has been in her life since she was 1 1/2 and she is 9 now. We have a very special bond, and seeing her grow up brings tears to my eyes

    • What a beautiful post! I was that little girl in my family- my birth dad let me go, and my “step dad” adopted me when I was 2. I am 31 now and I’ve never met my bio dad, even though he tries so hard now. No, thanks! I already have a dad!! Your daughter is so lucky to have you in her life. I hope she knows how lucky she is!

    • You are what is RIGHT with the world. It takes a really big man to WANT to be Daddy to another man’s child, to raise them as their own. I have 2 step kids that I love dearly and have raised them for the past 13 years. Its an amazingly rewarding feeling when I look back at all the times I’ve made them mad at me, they have NEVER once told me “You’re not my Dad!”
      I hope you are blessed with along, loving relationship with this child.

  4. My daughter is 3 and her sperm donor left over 2 years ago! He was able to just walk away like she was nothing but i pray that she never feels that hurt ! I pray that her step dad is enough to make her feel loved and happy! He loves her when he doesn’t have too! Instead of choosing to walk away he chose to stay! And i hope she focuses on that one day instead of he left me and doesn’t love me! No he just wasnt worthy of her love!!!

    • I love this because I use the word “speed donor” all the time my children have been raised with the idea they do not have a DAD. That is a name earned not given and I will not use that towards their sperm donor. I don’t have to speak badly about people that do not exist so it made our lives easier and I do not have to explain why they don’t want to be there.

    • I was part of a blended family, being so young never realized their last names were different. My brothers absentee dad just lead to them loving my Father all the more. Anyone can be a Dad but to be a Father is much more prestigious.

  5. What I went through with my own daughter’s and knowing that I’m still in their lives makes me wanna live on to the fullness of my life.
    Thank you Genesis and Jerrielynn daddy love you both till the day God takes me home.☝️

  6. I have 3 sons their dad was in their life till he became abusive and told me he never wanted them and the only reason we had them was because I wanted them. Guess he was right about that cause I love my boys and they are my world and when they grow up they will grow up to be great men and great fathers cause they have a better example of what a man and dad are

  7. Wow this definitely hit home. For myself and my son who’s father was never in his life. Fortunately for me I met my bio father. But my sons father just passed away and it breaks my heart that he will never have the time to meet his dad. Regardless of him leaving and “never wanting him” he was still his blood and I had hope that they’d meet someday.

    • This hit home for me too. I turned 40 today and I’ve never met my dad. All the feelings written here I’ve felt too. Had serious struggles with self worth when I was younger. Proud to say that I’m stronger and more independant for it. Some curiosity still remains but I’ve accepted that will likely always be. His abandoning me is not a reflection on me. It’s on him. Really says a lot about what kind of person he is and why would I want someone like that in my life?

    • I’m a mother who raised a daughter without her dad …..because he decided NOT to be there for selfish reason but then again there really is no reason.So if you think for one minute the woman who wrote this letter is looking for attention you are sadly mistaken…I think you should look in the mirror I feel you might be one of these DADS.

    • Crave attention? Lies? Who are you even talking about? I can’t even find the author’s name, so obviously she’s not really after “attention”. Go back into your hole & stop being an idiot.

  8. There are no words to describe how I feel after reading this..it’s like I told you my story and you wrote this..thank you for this! #BrokenCrayonsStillColor #IAmWorthy

  9. I was so fortunate to have a Wonderful Father. He was always there for me. I am an adult, now, but have good memories. I’m sorry you never had that. Enjoy the family you have.

  10. In my case, I only saw him a couple of times while growing up, literally 2 times when he came back to try to get my mom to drop the child support. Mind you, he never paid a dime, He just didn’t want those letters coming to the house with his lovely wife and new family. He called once after that, hypocritically asking how my brother (his same name) and my sister (my moms same name) we’re doing. When he wanted to ask about me, he stuttered and just said “how’s the little girl doing”? Mf (no pun intended) didn’t even remember my name. That Was one of the most confusingly devastating times in my life. Now that I am grown, I see all the struggles and barriers my momma has over come to make sure we never went without food. And I can’t thank him enough for leaving. Good riddance!

  11. This article is Powerful indeed. My Daughter is all grown now but ai was a witness to her pain. At times I didn’t understand or I didn’t know what to say. We had occasional talks about her feelings but she wanted to be strong but deep inside she was yearning for answers. Well she got the answers as she went to her Father’s home and had to see things for herself. My prayer for her during this trails was for protection and that God allowed her to get the answers she was looking for. Of course I (Mom) according to him was the blame for everything. “It was your Mom’s fault, she, she, she! Okay let’s say it was she, she, she…my question to you Sir. What stopped you from taking legal actions against me her Mother if I or she, she she was at fault?? Y’all it’s been 27 years and I’m still getting hatred from this man. I hope he can grow up. My hopes for my Daughter is to stand strong Love and do to your children that which you didn’t get from him and to continue the path of healing.
    I Love you Daughter
    Mom

  12. My father left when I was 3 I’m now 76. He’s never made any attempt to be in my life. I had a great mother &grandmother. My daughters father have ner been in there lives. My 2nd husband has loved & cared for them their entire lives. Now the youngest daughter is 46 & we had privilege of raising a few grandchildren due to absence of fathers & now a few of the great grandchildren are under our wings. God blessed us with the health & ability to care for them. My father passed away without knowing me, I use to wonder about him. As an adult I accepted fact he wasn’t worth thinking about. He left 2 sons & a daughter for no reason, his loss not our.

  13. Reading things like this pushes me to be in my daughter’s life even more, she’s still cooking in my wife’s womb, but I love my girls so much I can’t even think of leaving them; to my dear wife and beautiful daughter, that’s one thing I promise my girls, you’ll never have to wonder because I’ll be there

  14. Exactly… I have so much fear about how this will one day effect my 10 year old son. His sperm donor has never met him, didn’t want to. I tried over & over for months & was so crushed thinking how could he not want to meet this beautiful little baby boy..
    My best friend & now husband has been in OUR son’s life since he was 1. The one that is there, that loves & supports… he is his rightful father. Oh how he loves & cherishes our baby boy, so much..

    We are just scared for the day he will find out or need to know… I don’t ever want our son to wonder why his sperm donor didn’t want him. Like something was wrong with him.
    No my dear boy… something is wrong with Him, not You.

  15. I am 70 years old this year and my father has passed away but this still hits home. My dad left when I was about 2 1/2 years old. We stayed where we had been living so we were close by and he could see my sister and I. He chose to only do this at his convienence which became less and less as time went on. When I was 7 my grandparent said we could come and live with them. My mom could go to school and they would take care of us girls while she was in school. So we moved and that is what happened. Our dad remarried and had a new life without us in it. I only recall seeing him a few times, but our mom made sure we knew who our father was. Our mom never remarried. Her life centered us girls and later her grandchildren. GOD BLESSED ME WITH THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD and later when I married the best Dad and other mom!

  16. I too have a son who has never met his father. He was 3 months old when I called the police to tell them he broke into our home drunk. My son has NEVER wanted to see him or contact him.
    I myself have a biological father that I didn’t know about until I was 16. I was adopted and never knew.
    I made contact with that person bit they have failed in the parenting aspect. I’ve given it my all with nothing in return. Some people just weren’t meant to be parents.

    • Sometimes they just don’t want to be there. We never specifically followed the legal visitation rules, but he could get her anytime he wanted. Most of the time I even drove to meet him so it wasn’t too far out of his way. (We lived about 40 min apart) We were married, he wanted a baby (no accident.) Over a 2 year period he got her every weekend until it dwindled to not at all. He had a baby with someone else & basically got preoccupied. It’s not always the mom’s fault. Sometimes we do everything we can to make it work, but it ultimately takes two.

  17. 862,000 mother’s aborted their children in 2017. That’s a lot of unwanted children nobody wants to talk about. Not every woman wants to be a mother and not every man wants to be a father. Consider his absence a virtual abortion.

  18. Even when they are there, they aren’t always “in” your life. My husband doesn’t go to our daughter’s sporting events except once in a while, I go to home and away events and I work longer hours! He’s always pointing out what she does wrong, rarely praising her. She and I have an amazing bond, while.she feels quite different about her Dad, its sad.

  19. Thank you for leaving me is a perfect statement ! Her life may have been not near as wonderful as it is, if he hadn’t left her and just stayed For The sake of staying

  20. His loss was my gain. I had all boys , so a little girl was much different. At first I was a little resented as being a new man in their mothers life. He voluntary forfeited his visitation and once went three years without contacting her. I was able to watch her grow and be a part of her life. I got to coach her basketball team, watch her cheer and dance. I watched her graduate from high school and trade school. I got to walk her down the aisle and be with her when our grandsons were born. He hasn’t called in nearly ten years and he has missed out on watching a young girl grow into a beautiful, talented woman, wife and mother. I feel bad for her pain, but am blessed to have been able to be in her life then and now.

  21. Some men dont have a choice and have narcissist exes my ex used to stalk my page but never let me talk to my son and after asking for 18 years some people are just dont with it .it does mean that dad doesnt care ,some moms get too many rights and it can cost up to 15,0000 for a good lawyer .after child support that’s literally impossible .

  22. So what happens when you’re with the dad and he is in and out of their lives because of drugs and prison. You keep the door open and he chooses to keep up a toxic life and tries to take them down with him…… They figured out that he really didn’t love them or myself and he still chooses to do the drugs and left for that life instead of having a LOVING family.

  23. This really hits home. My daughter said at the tender age of 12, “the best thing that he ever did for me was to stay away because if he had been in my life then he would’ve had an influence on my life and if he had an influence on my life then I wouldn’t be the person that I am today and I LIKE WHO I AM”. What a proud Mom moment. I raised a strong healthy daughter who knows her self worth even at a young age. She continued with her faith, convictions and positive self worth into her young adulthood. She is a successful, hard working, compassionate women that I am so very proud to call my daughter❤️

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