An Open Letter To The Man Who Made Me His Mistress


1Dear Sir Williams

Yes, I’m referring to you. You, the man who did the unimaginable – you conquered me. Your intellect and wit quite literally charmed the pants off of me. This is no small feat, as evidenced by the year of “Mormon courtship” it took to finally win me over. You patiently pursued me, with and unbounded chemistry, remarked upon chivalry, continual reassurance, and unrelenting love. All the while, you mischievously lead a double life.

I had seen the Lifetime movies, heard of such things occurring. I often thought to myself, “What a dumb bitch” or “How in denial could you be?” It turns out my preconceived notions about mistresses failed to take into account the sociopathic tendencies of narcissistic men like you.

I am smart, very smart in fact. It is one of the things you were most drawn to. If only given three words to describe me, I would bet, with certainty, that most people’s trio would include some variation of intelligent. I’m also inherently distrusting, uber analytical, and my brain works only in the most logical of fashions. Lastly, and this is an unbiased statement, I am beautiful. This combination, you’d suppose, would make me a very unlikely candidate for being your mistress. Only one problem with this assumption – I didn’t know I was your mistress. The letter continues on the next pages.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments